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What NOT to buy for baby showers...

Baby showers bring baby flowers...{well, not always!}...

Before my daughter was born, I had two baby showers and I got TONS of newborn gifts. But have you noticed, that friends and family tend to get you all the cute dresses, coordinating fluffy (uncomfortable) outfits, that can't possibly comfortable on your babies super soft, and delicate skin?

And if you are having a newborn boy...pull over now, because you better watch out for all the button down shirts (with a thousand buttons) and outfits with boats, ducks, and trucks. And jean shorts for infants? Let's ignore the fact that we were supposed to leave jean shorts back in the 80's, and be honest with ourselves, they were not comfortable for our us in the 80's, so they are probably still not comfortable for our babies.

Okay, I admit it, I was THAT gift buyer before I had my daughter, I bought the cutest outfits I could find in the stores, so I could get all the ooo's and ahhh' when my friends opened them. Yes, trying to get the best and cutest gift was me! :) Well, have a child and you will know, that is not what moms need the first months of your newborn life, or possibly EVER!

So listen up...here is what moms DO NOT want as gifts, (my opinion of course):

1.) Newborn or 0-3 clothing especially cute, fancy dressy outfits. Most newborns grow into 6 mo clothing a few weeks after they are born. Or if you have a chunky-monkey little girl like I did, she skipped newborn and wore 6 mo clothing when she got home from the hospital.

2.) NO BUTTONS -Do you really think we can button up 15 of the tiniest buttons made on earth, with spit up on our shirts, breast milk dripping down our stomachs, sup hose so tight we can't bend over, while wearing some kind of white mesh hospital briefs (supposed to be underwear), being under the influence of heavy pain medications, dealing with our skin glued and sutured together, all the while putting ice on our laps? NO, sorry, we cannot! You might ask, what about the cute little snap buttons on the cute little onsies?NOPE...don't buy them, please!

3.) Scratch mittens, or cute little gloves - No...we don't need those either. I know, I know, you might be saying, "but newborns are born with eye-ball scratchers", but chances are, if we find we need them, we will only need a pair or two, and we will try them a couple of times, but quickly will find out that our babies don't like them at all, and news alert...they do not stay on!

4.) Breast milk alcohol testers? - Seriously? Okay, I fell "virgin mom" on this one, because I admit it, I did buy these gifts for fun, for one my friends baby showers. If you haven't heard, these are little test strips (very similar to the test strips you use to test the chlorine in your pools), that you can use to test your breast milk to see if you are going to make your baby drunk or not. The concept is good, I get it...but we know very well, if we drink more than one glass of wine per hour, we have to "pump and dump", and trust me, we may do this ONCE..but most of us know that when we watch liquid gold  going down the drain, we learn our lesson, and stick to the sober mom rules (as much as we can).

5.) Baby books - Let me ask you this...Do you want to exploit your friends' fears of sudden infant-death syndrome, or SIDS? Or how about confusing them on if they should cry it out, or soothe their newborn. And I love that I had to make decisions on "organic" or regular jarred baby food, while my daughter was in utero. And let me not get started on "to vaccinate or not"? I am absolutely not saying that these books are not important...because I was a SIDS scared mom, and I too read all the books out there. I had no blankets, no pillows, one monitor that detected movement, and another monitor to watch my daughter on a video.  Also, trust me, preggo ladies have had plenty of time to read up on delivery, newborn, and all the new mom books during the last couple months leading up to having baby. What else are we going to do in the middle of the night. We spend hours at night, grabbing handfuls of Tums trying to stop the fire in our esophagus', while having severe insomnia, so we have nothing else to do at 2am but ready the baby books. On occasion, we are able to doze off at night, but that is short-lived because of the need to get up to pee.... So yes, these books are great to give to a friend, BUT I ask you this, do I think we need to step in and give this "New Mommy" lessons at a baby shower? Probably not, if you want to share a book, or a mom lesson learned, perhaps those are best to be had on an intimate conversation between mothers. And lets stay away from dumping these stories, and lessons at our showers..

6.) And finally...PLEASE buy something from our registry!!!!! PLEASE! We didn't spend hours and hours in the baby store with our friendly laser gun, zapping things like "breast pads" or "breast milk storage containers", just because we happened to be so fat, swollen, tired, and crippled by heartburn pain we thought shopping for nipple shields would be fun! That is a big fat NO. We hated it! I remember walking in my first baby store, armed with the gun (laser), and walking around in a complete daze at the items that I was told I had to have before my baby was born. I mean, seriously...nipple cream? as if my nipples weren't already 'large and in-charge', now I am going to have bite marks, and they are going to be so raw, I am going to need nipple cream? Do I have to say anymore? So please, if we put nipple cream (or similar) on a registry, will you please just shut up and buy it for us? :) Thank you.

One last note to make: Let me talk about the popular discussion point that shows its ugly head at every baby shower! (at least ones I've been at, and perhaps me as "virgin mom" even asked this a few times):
PLEASE friends and family, let's not ask our mommy-to-be how they plan to give birth to their new bundle of joy. I mean seriously! Do we new mommies actually know what the hell we are about to go through? Do we even know how we are going to deal with the delivery? Do we even know if our baby will cooperate? NOOOOOOOOOO! (Again, I as "virgin mom" fell victim this fun question to ask my friends). I was even asked this question at my showers. I answered so confidently... and with a huge smile on my face..."I plan to give natural birth a try, but open to drugs". Well little did I know what my body was about to endure...and for any of you who have never had a baby, OR for any of you that had the stars align just perfectly, and walked your cute ass (probably skinny and hair/makeup done) into the hospital, said to the doctor, "I think I am in labor", and one hour later, your baby was in your arms with a halo around her/his head....for you lucky moms....guess what? That doesn't happen for the rest of us!

And for some of us, you push for hours and hours, see the baby almost bless us with her presence, but then end up heading into an emergency c-section, and then having severe medical complications afterwards. Okay, maybe I am a little jealous of those moms, and bless them, but fact is, we do not know what our bodies are going to do in the middle of giving birth, so having a birth plan is great, but ladies..and our "virgin mom" friends...please...let's give way to a strict plan, because face it...our baby is in charge, we are NOT. So let's not ask these lovely questions on how we plan to give birth...just wish us the best! :) thank you

Just some friendly advice from one mother to another...and to our friends..

|| Your Desert Momma ||